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05 August 2010

Looking Out

I’ve spent the last three or four days trying to find a “cool” blog template to use for documenting my trip to share with others and I realized yesterday that the endless search was only supporting my procrastination to actually write on my pre-departure state of mind. I’ve reached the official 3-week mark on the countdown, and everything is starting to feel more real than ever.

I hate rollercoaster analogies… but it’s the only thing that’s coming to me now as I try to articulate this stirring mood. Here’s the feeling: you’re all strapped in (safe as could be) and the coaster car is clicking up, up, up the slope. The hubbub of the park has quieted because you’re up so high now yet there is still a low level of fervor amongst the fellow riders who are all giddy to finally have made it to the ride after a far-too-long wait in line. You’re already gripping the handrails below your cheeks, which is kind of embarrassing because nothing has even really happened yet. When the climb begins to flatten out, everything feels at peace as you look out over the suburb from your perch. A few butterflies check into your stomach and then, suddenly, you’re creeping forward and you can see that this steel mechanism you’re attached to is about to plunge straight down. You have to make a decision: to completely relax and smile or hold on tighter and say a prayer. The ride didn’t wait for you to make a choice, and 15 seconds later your hair is in your mouth because you’ve been screaming upside down. You can’t see your friends next to you, but you hope they’re alive and having as much fun as you are. A camera flashes, and after one last turn you’re whiplashed to a complete stop and you feel completely alive.

Right now, I’m in the sitting-on-the edge-of-a-cliff phase looking out with the oh-my-gosh-we’re-about-to-drop feeling. Does that even make any sense at all?

The point of that long winded story was to say that I feel like I’ve been walking around with a feeling of anticipation – knowing that this voyage is about to change me in ways I can’t even pretend to predict or imagine. Yes, of course I’m completely excited out of my mind… the spirit of adventure has always been alive in me. But I also am deeply conscious of my own small place in this world and how I wish to shape it by what I learn, see, and experience. I know that from previous travel experiences, each time you leave one culture and enter into another, you can (if you’re fully present) become informed to realities that your everyday “routine” has managed to overlook, and will be transformed by the enlightenment that said truth will reveal. My beliefs will be either strengthened or challenged as I surrender to the amazing forces of the universe and the people and places that I will welcome into my journey. Upon my return, I’ll begin to make newer and truer choices about my future – old priorities may become meaningless or more important than before I left. Time will tell.

Looking out, that is the feeling.

So. Clearly. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And when I don’t want to think, I head to a bookstore and park it in the travel section with a stack of books telling me what I “can’t miss!” or “avoid at all costs!” It's fun looking at the pictures and writing down ideas, but I'm not trying to tackle the whole world, rather get a taste of it. That means wandering to places with restaurants that aren't in English, and away from the hot spots in most Rick Steves books. I plan to prioritize a few good finds and let the rest happen naturally... hmm.

I’m running late to work now, best be going!
Catch you later,
Kelsey

1 comment:

  1. inspiration awaits. hope it's a fall with your hands sky high soaking in every turn and corner with pure thrill and excitement.

    i will live vicariously through your shared stories <3

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